What is your Love Language?
The term ‘love languages’ has been thrown around a lot now-a-days especially when it comes to giving relationship advice. I totally agree, knowing and understanding yours and your partners love languages can help lead and grow a happy and healthy relationship. But what if this is a conversation you’ve never had before? Where do you even start? You can’t begin to understand your partners love language without understanding your own. And this is important because our love language is how we like to receive and express love. It’s quite simple once you know the five different love languages, most referred from the book The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.
The first love language is Acts of Service and for these people, it’s not what you say but what you do that counts. Doing additional work around the house or offering to help if your partner is struggling or having an off day will speak volumes.
The second love language is Gift-Giving, offering sentimental or thought-out gifts. This doesn’t make you or your partner a materialist, but having a material representation of your love and your relationship is what makes them feel most appreciated.
The third love language is Quality Time. Giving your undivided attention and being present with your partner. The biggest thing is being distracted by what’s happening around us. How many times do you see couples who are just aimlessly scrolling on their phone while at dinner or at an event? Too often in my opinion. You or your partner wants to make sure that you are being present in the moment.
The fourth love language is Words of Affirmation or reassurance and confirmation of the relationship through the value of words. Receiving compliments means a lot and hearing negative or disrespectful words can hurt even more.
And lastly, Physical Touch and I’m talking appropriate physical touch both in the bedroom and outside whether it be a hand hold or hug. This person wants to feel wanted and appreciated through the sense of touch.
Understanding our love language also helps us to better communicate our wants and needs in our lives and in our relationships and who wouldn’t want that! We may favor one more highly over another but that doesn’t mean we should be slacking with the others. I completed the exercise on rating my love languages from 1-5 (1 being most important) and comparing my list with my partners to see and acknowledge how my partner and I would like to receive and give love. Even if you’re single, this is a great opportunity to get to know yourself a little bit more so when the next person comes along, you’ll be ready to have the love language conversation.
